Trust is a pillar of any relationship! It is a fluid thing, which goes hand in hand with commitment. Trust comes and goes depending on the efforts you make to keep it. It let you feel secure and allow you to display your thoughts and feelings openly and honestly. But not always, if you've been burned in the past. If someone has betrayed you or broken your trust then it will not be easy for your trust again. Your crappy experiences will make it difficult to figure out how to trust that person again?
You must have come across the phrase, "once a cheater, always a cheater," which is not always true. People don't remain the same throughout their lives, with the knowledge and experience they can change. So even if a person was once a cheater, he/she can also become a loyal person.
Here are five guidelines you can use when it comes to choosing a partner and make sure that person who once cheated you is the same or not.
1. Have a look at their past
Your past says a lot about you!As per the study, your past behaviour is your crystal ball; it's the single best thing which can help you in predicting how a person will behave in similar circumstances. It is one of the biggest reasons why someone who cheated for you likely has the chances to cheat on you.
You need to overlook this rule of thumb, or else you will get hurt again and again. People tend to do what they have done before. More likely your partner will treat your relationship like they treated their past relationships.
2. The timing
Person who cheated recently have the chance to do it again!Timing matters in the context of the former relationship! For how long he/ she was in a relationship? Why cheated? A person who cheated last month likely have the chance to do it again. But on the other side if a person who once had an affair ten years ago and never did it again, will most probably never do it again.
Moreover, if the person has cheated early in the passionate love phase of a relationship. Especially during serious dating, engagement, or in the honeymoon phase of marriage-then it is a red flag, you're with one of them.
3. The habits
If you keep on cheating it becomes a habit!If the person is cheating again and again, then it's a problem. Repeated acts are likelier to recur and they become habits.
Especially during stressful times, people have a tendency to return to their habits.
Every relationship has its ups and downs and you go through stresses. But that doesn't mean that you should cheat. Instead, make your partner ok in another's arms especially during hard times.
Start accepting your mistake!
Have you asked the person why he/she cheated? What were the reasons they dragged themselves out of a relationship? Listen to their answer.
Do they accept their mistake? If they say it was their fault, their responsibility and their choices which led to this, then it's okay. If your date defends themselves, makes excuses and blames their partner for everything, then be warned!
5. Ask yourself
Ask yourself what do you want!If your past experience is not allowing you to date someone who had cheated on you and was unfaithful to their partners in the past, it is just not worth it! People tend to cheat under some circumstances and it's best to avoid everyone with a history of infidelity, no matter what might indicate it wouldn't recur.
Start loving yourself, and besides, you don't need to live with constant fear by simply dating someone who never cheated on anyone. Choose from among these huge pool of eligible partners!
So, now do you know whom to trust? Take a clear-eyed view of your partner, accept that you aren't going to change them, and weigh the available evidence.