How to prepare for a heartbreak
"And how can you mend a broken heart? How can you stop the rain from
falling down?.... Please help me mend my broken heart and let me live
again."Is there something called a 'broken heart' in the physical sense of the term?
It has inspired
generations of poets and lyricists. Yet when it occurs, few are prepared
to handle it. A heartbreak can occur in a number of situations,
perpetuated by lovers, spouses, friends, children and sometimes even
parents. Those who have experienced it know that mending a broken heart
is never easy. The sense of rejection and loss of meaning that it brings
can be both overwhelming and devastating.
have found that the loss of the sense of value and purpose you feel
because of the relationship appears to be the key in heartbreak. This is
because our sense of identity appears to be attached to the
relationship. 'He values me enough to be with me, I am important to
him,' runs the chain of thought when we think of the loved
the emotional consequences of a broken heart are well known,
cardiologists have recently become aware of the physical 'Broken Heart
Syndrome' (BHS). This is a condition in which the left ventricle of the
heart becomes suddenly dysfunctional in the face of overwhelming stress.
A recent article in the Journal of the American College of Cardiology
describes stress cardiomyopathy as 'a rapidly reversible form of acute
heart failure reported to be triggered by stressful events.'
may be triggered not just by the conventional 'heartbreak' related to
an estranged relationship but by any extreme and sudden emotional
trauma. Women are seven to nine times more likely to suffer from this
physical BHS than men. Though scary, this is a reversible condition that
can be handled by cardiologists. However, data regarding gender
differences in emotional heart break is equivocal.Is it really possible for us to shield ourselves from a heart break?
Toni Braxton sings, 'Unbreak my heart', we all know that un-breaking is
not that simple. Protecting, mending and healing is what we can and
must aim for. It's not easy, but it is possible. Though each one of us
who has ever gone through heartbreak felt terrible when it happened,
most of us moved on and found courage and a new meaning to life and
eventually a healthier relationship. Not just with a partner, but also
with our self. Here are some ways to achieve this.
Never allow your relationship to be the only determinant of your self-worth.
- Keep your interests alive (other than those involving your loved one).
- Make sure you always have a good support system.
- Be alert. Don't miss the early signs of rejection.
- Stop yourself from expecting too much from the relationship and the person involved.